A few pics

I have received 12 doses of radiation therapy. Side effects are still minimal... just some redness like a sunburn. No major fatigue.

Once I reach 25 doses, I'll be having an additional 8 radiation "boosts"... so, 33 total treatments. I was originally only having 5 boosts, but they increased it a couple of days ago.

My doctors took me off Tamoxifen because it was causing too many pelvic symptoms. I will resume the medication after my fibroid surgery.

Step inside the "High Radiation Area"...

External beam radiation machine

They told me to smile!

Getting prepped.

This is the position I hold during rads, only the gown comes off.

Mutilated

Lately I've been feeling a lot of vain sadness over my battle scars. I've had over 50 punch or shave mole biopsies and there are quite a few larger re-excisions on my back, chest & stomach from atypical moles... then there is my 4 inch stomach scar from melanoma, lymph node removal scars under each armpit, part of my left boob is gone, I have a myomectomy/c-section scar, two ugly scars on my face from bad cosmetic mole removals, and don't forget the 9 inch disaster down my left leg. And I am literally probably forgetting some because there are too many to keep track of. I FEEL HIDEOUS. Even the seediest of strip clubs wouldn't hire me. Not that I would ever DO THAT, but that's totally not the point!! I just feel BUTCHERED. So, I was really upset last week when my dermatologist told me I would need yet another re-excision on my neck. The three biopsies I had recently came back normal, mildly atypical (which they ignore), and moderately atypical (which they re-excise to clear margins). I have no choice but to re-excise the third one because it could recur as melanoma. It will just be a 90 minute office procedure, but I just feel like... UGH...... why do I constantly need stuff cut out of me?! Why am I such a defective human being?

Radiation is going fine. I am 3 treatments in and have some mild redness and my nipple feels burned, but no fatigue or systemic side effects have occurred yet. Taking tamoxifen has been uneventful thus far, too. I have been on it for 7 days and still feel normal. I had some tummy discomfort after the first couple of doses, but it didn't last. Onward...

Two down, one to go

My active treatment for sarcoma has come to an end! I am only on surveillance now. My appointment today was great -- my stitches came out and my chest CT was clear. I won't need to visit the sarcoma clinic again for 3 months! Woohoo! They are referring me to a lymphedema specialist to help me combat the swelling. I'm also wearing a new thigh-high compression stocking and it feels great!

Of course, I am right in the middle of active treatment for breast cancer... but I am happy to be able to focus all of my attention on this department now. My dry run for radiation is tomorrow and my first dose is on Thursday. We're in Seattle on weekdays for the next 6 weeks... commuting home to Long Beach on most weekends.

I also had my first dose of Tamoxifen last night. The most common side effect is menopause (temporary of course)... so I may have hot flashes and mood swings to look forward to. But maybe not... we'll see how it goes.

Support

A great read...

Arm's Length: The Distance Between Friendship and Cancer

"Though arm's length may be a safe distance, embracing someone with cancer is far more rewarding in the end. Just think. If it were you whose life just flipped upside down, what kind of friends would you want? ... Be that friend."

If you're reading this, you're probably someone who has offered me great support... and for that I just want to say thanks. I've spent too much time bumming over those who have disappeared and don't check in or understand what I'm going through. I know I just need to change my perspective and be more appreciative of what I have... which is a small yet AMAZING core group of friends and family... and the best husband and baby girl in the world!!! 

Various updates

Skin:

I had 3 biopsies on Mon, 7/20.  Really enjoyed my new dermatologist. She is associated with UW, but has a private practice on Mercer Island. I will go back to her for the results and to have my stitches removed on Thurs, 7/30. She agreed that I need to continue my skin exams every 3 months.

Radiation:

Finally got a phone call from scheduling and I will begin radiation on Wed, 7/29. The first day is a dry run and my first actual dose will be the following day. If all goes well, I will be finished with radiation therapy on approximately 9/10.

Anti-hormone therapy:

My medical oncologist ordered my prescription for Tamoxifen, which I will need to take for 5-10 years. I am supposed to begin taking it immediately, but I am waiting to make sure its okay with my gynecologic oncologist who is following my large fibroid. Tamoxifen can sometimes encourage fibroids to grow and.......

Fibroid:

Due to rapid growth (2cm in the last 3 months), I have to have this fibroid removed in October when I'm all finished with radiation. This will be an abdominal myomectomy -- I had the same surgery back in October 2009 and it's much like a c-section without the reward. I knew this surgery was inevitable, especially if we want to try for another baby someday, but I am bummed it has to happen so soon. It will be my 5th surgery in the span of a year. Maybe it's better to just get everything done now, though. And just a reminder, we cannot try for another baby until I've been on Tamoxifen for 2 years. At that point, it's safe to take a break from the medication and resume taking it after the baby is born.

Next week:

Tuesday -- Sarcoma surveillance (chest CT & checkup -- happens every 3 months)

Wed -- Radiation dry run

Thurs -- First dose of radiation (to continue every weekday for 6 weeks)