Lately I've been feeling a lot of vain sadness over my battle scars. I've had over 50 punch or shave mole biopsies and there are quite a few larger re-excisions on my back, chest & stomach from atypical moles... then there is my 4 inch stomach scar from melanoma, lymph node removal scars under each armpit, part of my left boob is gone, I have a myomectomy/c-section scar, two ugly scars on my face from bad cosmetic mole removals, and don't forget the 9 inch disaster down my left leg. And I am literally probably forgetting some because there are too many to keep track of. I FEEL HIDEOUS. Even the seediest of strip clubs wouldn't hire me. Not that I would ever DO THAT, but that's totally not the point!! I just feel BUTCHERED. So, I was really upset last week when my dermatologist told me I would need yet another re-excision on my neck. The three biopsies I had recently came back normal, mildly atypical (which they ignore), and moderately atypical (which they re-excise to clear margins). I have no choice but to re-excise the third one because it could recur as melanoma. It will just be a 90 minute office procedure, but I just feel like... UGH...... why do I constantly need stuff cut out of me?! Why am I such a defective human being?
Radiation is going fine. I am 3 treatments in and have some mild redness and my nipple feels burned, but no fatigue or systemic side effects have occurred yet. Taking tamoxifen has been uneventful thus far, too. I have been on it for 7 days and still feel normal. I had some tummy discomfort after the first couple of doses, but it didn't last. Onward...
